I am so small. I sense my fragility tonight more than I have in quite awhile. I continue to grieve for a dear friend of mine who recently lost her husband to suicide. As I told her, I often pray for her and sometimes in those moments I feel unbearably heavy, like someone of very large stature is standing on my chest. It’s like I almost have to catch my breath. I wish I could say that I’ve stopped asking the Lord why??, but I haven’t.
Uncoincidentally I’m reading in Job right now, just finishing up chapters 38 & 39. The Lord explicitly describes his unmatchable power to Job (if you need a moment of humbling, please read these two chapters). I couldn’t resist and moved on to chapter 40, though that’s part of tomorrow’s reading:
“Then Job answered the Lord and said: ‘Behold, I am of small account; what shall I answer you? I lay my hand on my mouth. I have spoken once, and I will not answer; twice, but I will proceed no further.”
Lord, I, too, am of small account. In my view, even much smaller than Job. I have spoken too many times. You are so mighty, Father. You number the clouds, command the morning, and hold storehouses of snow. My life is but a breath. Please continue to exhibit your power when tragedy strikes. Praise You, Lord, for You are good.